At work, I am known for my patience. With difficult families, “crazy” patients, slow-moving nursing students, or crabby staff members. People comment on how nothing ruffles my feathers or makes me angry. And I am proud of that. I like that I am able to stay calm and let people who need to talk do just that, or take their time when learning a new skill, or whatever. But ohmigod, this pregnancy has sapped all the patience from my mind and body. Here’s an example:
When my mom was here, we stopped at Pottery Barn to look for a very specific piece of furniture. We were greeted by a very enthusiastic employee upon our entry to the store. She asked if we were looking for anything in particular. At this moment, I knew we should say, “no thanks, we’re just looking” and keep walking. But we told Ms. Enthusiastic 2008 about our quest for a small chest of drawers. She replied, “Oh we don’t have anything like that in the store, but let me show you what we have in the catalogue.” She picked up the latest catalogue and started flipping through the pages one. page. at. a. time. And you and I both know how thick Pottery Barn catalogues are. As I watched her page through the catalogue, my face got really hot, I got jumpy legs, and experienced an overwhelming urge to turn around and walk out of the store. Or throw something. (There were lots of pretty plates around!) Instead, I stood there, staring at a set of leaf green patterned plates on a table nearby and waited it out. The five minutes it took for her to flip through the catalogue and say, “Huh, I guess we don’t have anything like that,” felt like twenty long minutes. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
Rest assured, I have never thrown anything or hurt anyone when I feel this way. Yet. (Ha ha!) The thing is, this lack of patience is so different from my normal self, that it can be very disconcerting. Mom assures me that I will return to my normal self when the baby is born. For all of your sakes, I hope she’s right.