Well, here’s the plan for the day. The “Wish Upon a Star” plan. The “Cross All Your Fingers and Toes” plan. I will not go home today, because the note the MFM team left from Friday recommended reevaluation on Monday. So tomorrow, the MFM attending will check out my numbers from the weekend and make a decision.
I had a long talk with the fellow on call this afternoon. I expressed my frustration with being here doing nothing that couldn’t be done at home and how it’s really hard to have a new person come in each day and have a different take on things. I told him it would be easier for me to be told, “No, you can’t go home at all,” than to have this wishy-washy wait-and-see feeling every day. He said that odds are, everything would be fine and continue on like this even if I were at home, but the possibility of something bad happening is always lurking. I asked him about the timeline of “bad things,” like if I were to become symptomatic, would I have minutes before having a seizure or something or are we talking hours or days or what? He said there is no rule and there is no trend. It’s different for every person. He did say that my chances of having something like that happen are very low — in his opinion, 1-5%. He felt that I had an 80% chance of sailing through to deilvery in four weeks, which is what we’re looking at now, instead of the end of May. He also said (and I don’t necessarily agree with him) he wouldn’t be surprised if I had the baby in the next two weeks, because my BPs could get out of control. (He did admit to me that he is a by-the-book, worst-case-scenario kind of guy.) I asked him if I were his sister or cousin or something what he would recommend to me and he said that he would want them to stay in the hospital.
So, the question now is — what is best? Can I continue this level of rest at home and keep things the way they are? Should I stay here even though I hate being here and feel like I could manage at home? What is best? It’s so hard to know what is best when the story keeps changing depending on the person walking through the door. Right now, it’s just too hard to keep this wait-and-see attitude. I need definitive answers. From someone soon.
So, on that happy note, I hope you’ve all had a wonderful Easter so far and that the Bunny found you and left you wonderful treats. Like Cadbury eggs. Yum!