I have images in my head. Of me wearing the baby while Sam and I walk to the library for story time. Of me carrying the Moses basket full of sleeping baby outside so I can park her under the tree to push Sam on the swing. Bundling a Big and a Little so we can go outside and play in the snow. Of matching knitted hats, made with love by a Mom of Two.
It’s been a slow process for me to find these images. I’ve wondered, “How can I ever love another child as much as I love Sam?” Everyone says that the heart just grows when a new child is born, and I know that will happen to me. But I look at my baby boy and I think of our days together, just the two of us, and can’t help but wonder how this new baby will affect Sam. How will I help him share his days with a new baby sister?
I am confident that everything will fall into place with time. Sam will learn a new routine that includes Baby; we will have time to play and draw and sing and read books and do puzzles; he will help take care of Baby with me. And everything will be fine. I hope.