Rob and I went on the hospital tour. Let me start from the beginning — and I promise that this will be the short version. We got there about a half hour early, because we are punctual people. While sitting in the lobby, we got the giggles listening to the player piano pluck out a Disney medley, starting with “Beauty and the Beast” followed by “Aladdin.” It was like an Alan Menken greatest hits disc or something. I think we were both so tired (no one slept well last night) that it just struck us funny.
Finally, we started on the tour. There were about six couples, all in different stages of pregnancy (Rob decided we were in the middle). We went to the second floor and saw the triage area, where we will check in on The Day. (I am already intimately acquainted with Triage, since that is where I went for my little blood pressure mishap.) Following that, we trekked over the the Birth Center where the LDR rooms. (LDR officially stands for Labor Delivery Recovery. Unofficially, it could be Latter Day Reformation, Lutheran Delivery Room, etc. We were tired, ok?) The good news is, we’ll stay there the whole time, from start to finish. The bad news is, there is no internet and no DVD player. (For you that means no updates. And for us it means no romantic comedies that I’ve seen 852 times so that I can fall asleep intermittently and not miss any of the plot.) We got a little tour of the room — blanket warmer (Rob says I need a blanket cooler), newborn assessment area, epidural machine (probably won’t need it), bench/twin bed for Rob to sleep on, etc. After the guide finished her spiel, she asked if there were any questions. I asked if there were telemetry monitors so I could walk around (yes, there are) and someone else asked what “code blue” meant. Then we moved on…
…To the third floor where we saw the postpartum unit and nursery. This is where, after 1-2 hours, we will move to spend the night. Poor Rob will have to sleep on a fold out arm chair. Maybe we should get an egg crate mattress thingie to try to make it more comfortable for him. We did learn it’s a BYOP affair (Bring Your Own Pillows). The guide said that the pillows are horrible and only for the mothers, so dads are basically screwed if they forget to bring one.
On the way out, the guide told us about the candlelight dinner that is offered to new parents. The conversation went a little something like this:
Guide: They serve things like shrimp scampi, filet mignon, lobster. It all comes on a little table with a white tablecloth and a vase with flowers that they set up in the corner of your room. And if you want, you can have champagne or beer or something. Or juice, pop, water, whatever.
Big Guy in Flannel: Can we bring beer?
G: Uh, sure. You can bring beer.
BGIF: Really? Cool.